Observe Without Attaching Thought

“Observe without attaching thought.”

We are not taught this in our Western culture. 

Quite the opposite, we are often encouraged to “think about it” (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve suggested clients do exactly this) and then rewarded for these complex thoughts. 

The greater the complexity, the more valuable the thought. 

We can claim ownership over specific ideas using “intellectual property.” 

This fuels competition and feeds the ego.

When we are closely identified with our ideas, suddenly our sense of self-importance skyrockets as self-created concepts can now be monetized.

Materializing ideas into cash is a respectable skill, undoubtedly, which we all possess, and it’s not all there is. 

Don’t get me wrong, our minds are also beautiful. 

Recall the most spectacular artwork you’ve ever seen or the most captivating music, movie, show, book, etc. 

The object of your appreciation came from someone’s mind. 

It’s not all bad, today I mainly want to talk about where it gets in our way. 

Before this, I had maintained a steady meditation practice, so the teaching of observing without attaching thought wasn’t foreign. 

Did that mean it was easy to do, though? Nope.

One skill developed from the pain of my lived experience is intellectualism. 

Observing and then attaching thought to what I’ve witnessed is a specialty. 

Living in my mind kept me distracted from how unbalanced and terrified my body was growing up. 

It is incredible how the ego can split the body and mind, even though they are one.

Now my work was to let go of this survival skill and “comfort blanket” in exchange for raw exposure to what is. 

Yikes! 😳 😬 

My karmic work is about trusting and letting go, so now it was me and my neurotic mind working together to reduce the amount of thinking going on.

It was me and my fear, closer than ever. 

During and after the journey, I was told to lean into that mindful practice more consistently. 

Become meditative.

However, there was so much to process and integrate, that I couldn’t help but allow thoughts to flow. 

Occasionally, I got wrapped up in them. 

What was I doing? 

What felt important now? 

Was I truly fulfilled? 

What does happiness look and feel like for me?

In my heart, what did I desire most? 

What was getting in the way? 

Where else could I release and let go?

As time passed, I could no longer deny what I had previously worked so hard to ignore. 

Living in denial was no longer in the cards, mushrooms wouldn’t have it. 

Speaking from the heart, I didn’t want that either and I felt ready to see, to look deeply within.

I was ready to watch my mind; become the compassionate loving witness; and play light-heartedly with myself when I noticed self-injurious thinking and behavior. 

I wanted to smile at myself with gentle understanding and patience when I became aware that again I had been gripped by my human experience and my ego. 

An interesting discovery I made after the second journey was that if I did attempt to live with ignorance, the lack of alignment came with greater repercussions. 

Living out of alignment causes me to become physically ill. 

It happens quickly and usually so intensely that I can’t simply ignore it. 

This is why so many in our country are sick. 

We are taught to live out of alignment with our true nature and conform to “societal norms” and constructs. 

Our society promotes emotional suppression, championing us to mask who we are so that we can “fit in.” 

We become self-sacrificing for connection and a sense of belonging. 

We develop ways to deal or cope with this that are more often than not detrimental to our health. 

Yet after we've done what we're told, after we've become the "Somebody" we feel we have to be, we still don't feel right.

The current medical model examines our “symptoms,” prescribes a treatment (usually a pharmaceutical), and cashes in on what it’s created. 

I’ve lived this myself.

Alright, off my soap box and back to the ego. 

What is this ego? 

It is a veil. 

It is the vehicle through which we become more conscious. 

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche says the ego is a “professional trickster.”

He’s not wrong. 

The ego will continuously grip and hook us throughout the constants of change and uncertainty in life. 

It can disguise itself so even when we feel that we are operating from our most enlightened, higher self, this can still be the ego. 

Ram Dass taught that the ego is the false self, the structure of the mind that organizes our world and a “domain of separateness.”

Eckhart Tolle describes the ego as a dysfunctional relationship with the here and now. 

According to the Course in Miracles, the ego is a “fear thought.” 

The ego is very worried, it carries all the echoes of our past traumas and distorted societal conditioning. 

It is driven by the illusion of separation. 

It replays things that were said to us during the darker times in our lives.

It is highly critical. It tells us who to be to compensate for or work against those harmful internalized fallacies. 

It generates worst-case scenarios and convinces us to remain small.

Avoid risk. Play it “safe.” It creates conflict and confusion. 

In our individualistic Western culture, we are all conditioned to be “Somebodies.” 

This gives the ego great purpose, and it takes being a Somebody very seriously. 

Its goal is typically to keep us protected and safe from harm while endeavoring to be a "Somebody." 

However, what we perceive as threatening may not be so. 

Our physiology cannot discern the difference between a real threat and an imagined threat created in our minds. 

This is why mindfulness and meditation are so important.

Slowing down with ourselves is the only way we maintain a loving watch of our ego. 

Otherwise, it’s easy to get lost, tripped up, hooked. 

No doubt we need our egos to function. 

However, we must remember that our egos are not all there is. 

Life is a continuous series of moments where we balance among varying states of consciousness. 

We live the paradox of being perfect in our imperfections. 

We offer ourselves forgiveness and commit to doing better in the next moment. 

We have to honor and accept that our neuroses will appear and re-appear, even after we think we have resolved them. 

The game is navigating paradox, mystery, fear of uncertainty and change, all while remaining open and trusting, unconditionally loving the experience of being here now, and becoming a radiating beacon of our loving essence.

We must remember to access and employ grace while we dance through the physical. 

Easier said than done, at times; more easily done with practice. 

We are here to serve others using our unique gifts. 

We are all manifestations of the One, unique in our soul makeup and the purpose or dharma we are here for. 

We all have our karmic work. 

Some of us are here to wake up and help others do so, some of us have chosen the role of remaining asleep, and some of us are creating more karma by the day. 

From a transcendent viewpoint, it’s all perfect. 

As Ram Dass says, “It’s hopeless, but it’s not that serious.”

We surrender and allow our experience to be what it is. 

From there we make the next move. 

It’s not that serious, but it is sincere. 

We must do our part, which is all we can do.

We balance between fear and love. 

We falter with faith only to align more closely with it each time we return to it. 

Gradually, our faith grows stronger than fear and enhances our ability to be compassionate with ourselves when the ego distracts our attention from our truth. 

We see ourselves in the moment and say:

“Ah, look at me, getting pulled into my stuff; disconnected from my faith. Isn’t that fascinating? Am I ready to give this up now? Can I dance a little differently this time? Can I get a little closer to my faith? Om mani padme hum. I am loving awareness.” 

The paradox is we came to remember after we agreed to forget. 

The more I uncover, the more I unlearn and understand, the more I realize there is so much more I do not know and will never know. 

Wisdom is infinite and being a human is incredibly humbling. 

The mystery is a gift to me. 

Do I have a clue what I’m doing? 

I can convince myself I do for a while, but the truth is I’m simply creating the path as I breathe air. 

I’m doing my dance with my responses to uncertainty all the time. 

Sometimes I have two left feet. 

Sometimes I’m a seasoned professional. 

I am just one soul temporarily dwelling as a human with a limited perspective drawn from my current plane of evolving consciousness. 

Expanding beyond this current point of limitation is always the goal, which is why I write here. 

Take what you need from this and leave the rest. 

There is always more to discover. 

I promise to do my best. 

Thank you for being here, beautiful soul. Until soon.🩵